"Ain't Understandin' Mellow?"

I'm Gonna Do It!!!!

2005-07-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

I came to a decision today. I am definitely going to self-publish. I have done some research on it, and I like LuLu the best. Their terms seem to be pretty decent, though I understand the marketing and promotion is on me. I can handle that! Besides, I keep 80% of my royalties, and that is sooooo sweet. LOL.
On a personal note, I just spoke with my mother on the phone. She has to have surgery done on her heart in a couple of days. Let me tell you a little about my mother. She has to be the toughest woman I know, and strong. She has been known to bring grown men to tears. And talk about a sharp tongue! Lord, I think she could make the devil slink away and hid in a corner. But lately, she hasn't been too strong, and it worries me. I love this woman to death, so I'm praying for her. I appreciate your prayers as well.

My question to you guys: what do you think of Print-on-demand publishers? For those of you unfamiliar with LuLu, their website is www.lulu.com. Are they risky? To me, it seems other avenues are more riskier. Oh, and they have on their site that once you publish with them, your work is copyrighted, and you only need to register it if you want a federal copyright, but your work is protected either way. Is this true?

My next post will be discussing Angelina, the protoganist of my book. I've been seeing a lot of conversation on a couple of group lists I belong to that relate to some of her issues. So, stay tuned...

I'm going strong!

2005-07-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

I made it to work, although I didn't get to bed til after 4 a.m. I was working on this blog and my website, which paid off because I got two very inspirational messages in my guest book.
Today, I want to cover the reason I wrote Understandin'. There is a saying that writers write what they know. This is true. I wrote about some of my personal experiences, but fictionalized them, so that most of the story is based on fiction, with some realism. It speaks to some of the challenges single mothers face, and the criticisms that we receive for being single mothers. It's hard, at the same time rewarding. But if you've gone through some things in your life and survived, sometimes the rewards can be overlooked because your heart and mind are shrouded in the painful memories.
I've gone through a lot of painful ordeals, but I had to come to the realization that most of that stuff happened because of bad decision making. Plain and simple. That's what happens to Angelina, the lead character of the book. It takes a lot of bumps and bruises before she finally says "wait a minute, something has got to give!"
I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can understand this. What kinds of ordeals have you had, and which one finally made you say "something has got to give"?

What is the book all about?

2005-07-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

Wisdom. Growth. Acceptance. These are all stepping-stones on the path to finding self-contentment. And once you obtain it, there is nothing like it in the world. When you know what you know and you learn through lessons that come from broken dreams and heartaches, understanding is more than a concept. It becomes a guiding force that delivers the balmy peace of mind you yearn and pray for.

Angelina was born and raised in poverty, almost succumbing to an environment that poisoned the psyche of so many like her. She surged through a steadfast course in the school of hard knocks, receiving high honors for keeping her sanity while enduring her own private hell. A survivor of childhood disdain and scorn, her world had always been filled with volatility, trepidation and insecurity.

With no guidance as she became a woman, she sought solace and comfort in the arms of equally dysfunctional men. She learns that not only does misery love company, but also it thrives on building a fortress steeped in negative and painful woes. Low self-esteem propels her into a pattern of destructive relationships where she is both blessed and burdened with the birth of four children. The love she has for them becomes the blessing, providing the strength she needs to not only endure, but to overcome. The burden comes when she is forced to raise them alone – financially and emotionally.

After trials, tribulations and a series of mistakes the light bulb finally comes on. She begins to understand that being a victim as a child of unspeakable acts should not make her live life being victimized. It should make her a survivor. She learns that she has two choices with the hand life has dealt her; she could either sink under the weight of the madness that engulfed her world, or she could swim to shore and start over.

She chooses to swim. She escapes a drug addict, a religious fanatic and a potential domestic violence situation. She looks back to her past to understand the present, determined to break the cycles that threaten her and her children’s future.

Her heart’s desire has always been to find a good and decent man that would love her and her children. She sat on the receiving end of judgment and ridicule because of her status as a single mother and the stigma that women like her were looking for a man to take care of their children. Even her cousin Tina, who has her own relationship issues to contend with, condemned her as being a “welfare queen” with no real future. Strong, independent and goal oriented, nothing could be further from the truth for Angelina.

Throughout the scary journey she finally finds true love – a peaceful and satisfying love, but it proves to be tainted as a truth about him is revealed. But Angelina has come a long way on her own merits and is unsure if she can accommodate any more pitfalls. As she sets out to live life and experience its vibrancy for the first time after emerging from the “fog”, a blast from her past steps in and stirs up emotions she never knew existed. Angelina is faced with difficult decisions and knows she must tread carefully.

Whatever she decides to do, she knows one thing is certain; understanding who she is, what she wants and where she wants to be brings a placidity that is unsurpassed by anything – including fairy tale images of love. Understanding is serene. It is calming and full of bliss. For the first time in her life, understanding is definitely mellow.

Good Morning!

2005-07-11T01:57:00.000-07:00

It's almost 4 a.m., and I'm so excited about my new upcoming book that I can't sleep! I have to be at work at 9 a.m., so at some point I'll have to lay my tail down.
Yesterday, I got a couple of interesting leads on publication to my book. I'm looking forward to pursuing these leads.